BTW
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Published in: November-December 2009 issue.

 

The Cult of “Ex-Gay” Another BTW, another scandal from the septic depths of the “ex-gay” movement. This time, a refugee from Exodus International, Patrick McAlvey, has revealed what goes on in the group’s “reparative therapy” sessions, and it’s not a pretty picture. McAlvey disclosed to Wayne Besen of Truth Wins Out the details of his sessions with counselor Mike Jones: “He asked how large my penis was. He asked if I shave my pubic hair. He asked what type of underwear that I wore. He wanted me to describe my sexual fantasies to him and the type of men I’m attracted to. On one occasion, he asked me to take my shirt off and show him how many push-ups I could do, which I did not do.” He would also initiate a technique known as “touch therapy,” which involves lots of caressing and lying in one another’s arms—but no sex! It turns out Mike Jones is himself an Exodus alum who admits on his website that he’s still “sexually attracted to other men.” So this ex-gay thing would seem to be a pretty good gig for Mike, who suddenly finds himself in a power relationship with vulnerable gay youths struggling with their sexuality. Apparently Exodus is using the AA model of having recovering alcoholics sponsor those entering the program. The trouble is, alcoholics aren’t addicted to each other but to a substance that’s kept far away from the meeting room. Instead, these ex-gay groups are starting to look more like an all-male priesthood or cult with a divine mission and an undercurrent of homoerotic desire and sublimation—all under the guise of exorcising their members’ homosexual urges. Yeah, that’s gonna work.

Facebook Knows All… The Inernet has become a game of managing what we tell the world about ourselves, whether to disclose accurately one’s age or weight or physical dimensions—or whether one is gay. The latter can be an especially sensitive matter given the persistence of homophobia and thus of the closet. Now, a couple of grad students at MIT claim they’ve developed a software program that can tell whether you’re gay even if you don’t disclose this fact, based on who your friends are on Facebook. The program, called “Gaydar,” can make this inference based on your network of friendships with other members and the fact that some may have disclosed their sexual orientation. What they say about “birds of a feather” is true, and early trials have shown a robust effect. One wonders if the same logic can be applied to ascertain, say, who’s into illicit drugs and who’s a swinging single. Will there one day be an “underground Facebook” that discloses the things you’re not revealing about yourself? Get to work, Facebook geeks!

Preserve Our Essence The term “facial” has two distinct meanings—or at least they used to be distinct. The older usage refers to something you get at a spa involving mud packs; while a more recent usage names a sexual act that probably happens more often in porn than in real life. Now a Norwegian company is claiming that human semen is good for the skin, and it has introduced a product called Spermine whose main ingredient is said to have the following benefits: “It has a lot of vitamins; it’s hydrating, exfoliating, relaxing, and improves circulation; it prevents the skin from sun damage, discoloration.” It may well turn out that human semen is the absolutely optimal substance for your skin, but there’s still that other meaning of “facial,” which presents a certain amount of cultural baggage that could inhibit—or help?—the product’s marketability. This was underscored when a straight male journalist named Marty Beckerman decided to get “Spermboarded” for an article. Beckerman found the idea of having another man’s semen slathered on his face a little weird. But not all that weird, it turns out, even when some Spermine got into his mouth; one gathers he was even a little turned on by it. Actually, it was his girlfriend who was grossed out by the thought of another man’s cum on his face, and Beckman admits that “facials” are something most women hate the thought of. So perhaps the market for this product—in addition to the obvious one, gay men—will be straight men who know that this is probably the closest they’ll ever come to a gay experience.

Defame Me Not “Another Victory(?) For Gay Rights” read the ambivalent headline about a recent judicial ruling. The high-profile case involves one Howard K. Stern, whose fifteen minutes of fame took place in the wake of Anna Nicole Smith’s untimely demise. In a quickie book on Stern, writer Rita Cosby claimed that Stern had had sex with other men (notably Larry Birkhead, another of Smith’s paramours). Stern sued Cosby for defamation, and a Southern District of New York judge has ruled that calling someone gay does not qualify as “defamation per se,” which means it isn’t automatically assumed to damage your reputation; this has to be proven. Actually, there are four categories of per se defamation: accusing someone of a heinous crime, of professional dereliction, of having a loathsome disease, or impugning the chastity of a woman. So now, in addition to proving the falseness of Cosby’s claim, Stern must prove that being labeled as gay actually harmed his rep. Okay, so it’s a small step: you can still sue someone for calling you gay, but now you have to prove that this is tantamount to being called a murderer or a fallen woman.

Give Up All Hope The state of Alabama has begun to prosecute wine vendors for selling a brand known as Cycles Gladiator due to the picture on its label, which depicts a nude woman and a bicycle. Let the reader judge how prurient this picture is. It first appeared in 1895 on a widely displayed bicycle advertising poster—leading one magazine to run the headline: “Alabama: 19th Century Too Risqué” (sexualintelligence.org/#two). The state claims to be enforcing a law against advertising for alcohol that features “any person(s) posed in an immodest or sensuous manner.” Alabama is also the only state to categorically ban the sale of sex toys, which probably throws them back another century or two.

 

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