Drooling Now

Sometimes these items almost write themselves, and there’s just nothing much to add. Take the recent rant by Rev. Pat Robertson of The 700 Club (yes, it still exists), when he blamed the January blizzard in New York on gay people. This would be garden variety Robertson, only this time the blizzard was seen not as a punishment for sins gone by but for planning to sin upon arrival by plane or car. God sent the snowfall, he averred, “to punish Americans who were planning to drive to do something gay.” New York airports were shut down “so that people who were hoping to fly to do something of a gay nature would have to take a train or a bus, so it might be days before the gay thing they were going to do could occur.” In short, Pat Robertson has officially reached the drooling stage of senility, admittedly a shallow slide from a lifetime of mediocrity. Nurse to Pat: think now, it’s winter, and it’s bound to snow somewhere, and the snow will probably ruin some people’s plans. Chances are, the vast majority will be straight people planning to visit Grandma for the holidays or go to Disney World for some good clean fun. But you’re saying that God would smite their trips just to stop “something gay” from being planned (gay sex? a trip to the Pottery Barn?) on this particular weekend? And, Pat, think of all the gay things that may have happened because people didn’t finish their trips but instead remained in New York!