PRIOR TO moving to Lebanon, I’d joke with my friends, saying that I was traveling back in time to a world that resembles that of the late 1960’s in North America: a country that lacks openly gay public spaces and where the vast majority of homosexual men are closeted due to a strict patriarchal system. Unlike the Americans in the 60’s, however, these men have on-line chat sites, the most popular of which are Manjam.com and Gaydar.co.uk. Through these sites they have access to the liberties of the Western world—both sites are based in the UK—and they’re able to chat with like-minded people in an attempt to develop relationships, sexual or otherwise, in on-line gay community.
Eager to meet new people and unwilling to go and discreetly cruise at the infamous Dunkin’ Donuts in downtown, Beirut, I created an account on Manjam.com. Once I started browsing the site, I discovered to my surprise that a large number of men on this gay website had labeled themselves as “straight” or “bisexual.” Many insisted that they were only interested in “real men” while advertising their disdain for effeminate ones.
Manjam.com is something of a virtual environment in which members can not only meet new people but also look for work, find accommodations or a roommate, and so on. The site is set up to encourage users to express themselves openly, much like their Internet counterparts in North America. However, Lebanon isn’t North America but instead a country in which homosexuality is illegal and those drawn to it are oppressed. Article 534 of the Lebanese Penal Code prohibits sexual relations that “contradict the laws of nature.” This vague proscription apparently includes public indecency and excessive displays of affection—including for heterosexuals—punishable by a year in prison. Such a situation is bound to have a psychological effect on gay people, as revealed in on-line chatrooms. This in turn impacts the possibilities for the gay rights movement in Lebanon.
On November 12, 2005, Acid, a gay-friendly nightclub, was raided and the police arrested six people. One week later, X-OM, another gay-friendly establishment, was raided, although no one was arrested. These raids have left no safe spaces for gay men to meet without fear of being persecuted. This has created something of a clandestine gay scene in Beirut. Despite the raids, Acid still opens its doors every Friday and Saturday night, playing host to a primarily gay crowd. Other venues such as Wolf and Milk are also gaining in popularity, though many worry about future raids. As a result, discretion is mandatory, and it’s rare to see any signs of public affection among the patrons. In fact, if two men are caught kissing in Acid, the bouncers will kindly ask them to stop.
Helem, a GLBT organization, was formed in Beirut (but registered in Quebec, Canada) on February 11, 2004, with the primary goal of annulling article 534. (However, they don’t encourage people to break the law.) They claim that they organize social and cultural events in an attempt to bring the community together, while tackling other social issues. Interested in attending one of these events, I logged on to their website in search of some information. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a single event listed on the forum; the last posting was on June 19, 2008. On June 4, someone had asked when the International Day Against Homophobia was. The final post on the 19th responded: “No activity at all. Where’s everyone???”
During times of war and turmoil in Lebanon, as in other Mideast societies, ties of family and tribe tend to rise to the fore. After a fifteen-year civil war, the 1982 and 2006 conflicts with Israel, the attack on West Beirut last year, and endless violence in the north, it’s fair to say that war has become a way of life in Lebanon. Children are taught from an early age that their rights and responsibilities are based on kinship; all decisions must be made with the interest of the family in mind, while honoring their father’s name. Men are taught that they must take a leadership role in the family unit, helping to guide and support the group. Some have to leave school at an early age to help with the family finances, while the more fortunate ones may continue their studies. Young men are expected to remain at home until they get married, after which they move up the family hierarchy with age.
The patriarchal system leaves no room for the sexuality of gay males, who are constantly reminded of the importance of kinship and their role as a man. There have been several reported incidents of gay men having their lives threatened by their family members for coming out, while many others have been disowned. Being gay is seen as the ultimate threat to the patriarchal system, which explains why many men deny their sexual orientation on-line and have such a disdain for effeminate behavior. Although many do explore their homosexual tendencies, most will eventually either get married or seek refuge in another country.
Samir, a 29-year old Lebanese native whom I met on Manjam.com, is currently at this crossroads. He works as an architect, and although he’s out to a select few, he wouldn’t dare tell his family. He financially supports them, allotting his parents a monthly allowance, and has recently financed his mother’s haj to Mecca. He doesn’t feel free as a gay man in Lebanon, so he recently applied for a work visa in Canada, but isn’t hopeful. On more than one occasion, he’s confessed to me how much easier his life would be if he were with a woman.
Joining an on-line group of like-minded people can give one the illusion membership in a community. But research done by B. H. Brummet has shown that sites such as Manjam.com and Gaydar.com.uk actually cause a form of social isolation. Heavy users of the Internet for social contact report fewer interactions in the real world, which leads to anxiety and loneliness. By physically isolating such individuals, these chat sites actually make it more difficult for people to meet in real life, exchange ideas, and ultimately stand up for their rights.
As superficial as Manjam.com or Gaydar.co.uk are in satisfying these needs, gay men in Lebanon will continue to use them because they’re safe, easily accessible, and offer instant gratification. Rightly or wrongly, people are going to use these sites in an endless search for love or sex, while further isolating themselves. However, if they ever want to attain the respect and rights enjoyed in the West, they need to get out from behind their computer screens and take to the streets, demanding change. Until that happens, the popularity of such sites will just keep growing.
James Chaarani, a writer now living in Beirut, is currently finishing his first novel, “Lost in Paris.”
