Homo Domesticus: Notes from a Same-Sex Marriage
by David Valdes Greenwood
DaCapo Lifelong Press. 214 pages, $22.
WHEN YOU SEE a couple walking hand-in-hand down the street, it kind of makes you smile, doesn’t it? Ah, young love. You know how it is: two people meet and sparks fly. They date for awhile, getting to know one another, learning about individual peccadillos, deciding if they have a future together. They shyly introduce one another to family and friends. And eventually, one or both decides that they want to spend the rest of their lives together, a proposal is made, a ceremony is planned, and there you are. They become man and—husband. In the delightful new book, Homo Domesticus, by David Valdes Greenwood, you’ll read about love gained, lost, gained again, and the happiest-ever-after ever.
When David Valdes met Jason Greenwood, it could have been Love at First Sight complete with soundtrack if not for the college setting, folding tables, and undergrads. Valdes was smitten and flirted with Jason, but conversational lines were mixed up and neither thought the other much liked him. Still, they decided to go on a non-date, a “plan” rather than a romantic rendezvous, because Jason was seeing someone else, sort of. One non-date turned into two, which turned into weekends away and soon the two men were spending a lot of time together. After months of such non-date “plans,” Valdes, ever the romantic, was waiting for Jason to declare his affections. When the avowal wasn’t forthcoming, he gave Jason an ultimatum. Jason gave in to its terms, admitting his love for David; they moved into a drafty apartment together and, when David proposed marriage, Jason accepted. Not marriage in the strictest sense, as same-sex marriage wasn’t legal then, even in Massachusetts. But they had a meaningful ceremony filled with friends and half the family. They settled down in a Boston neighborhood and began their lives as newlyweds.
Hackneyed though it sounds, around their seventh anniversary the couple began to grow apart and started having problems. Jason became snarky; money was a constant issue; David found a friend that he didn’t share with Jason and began to spend a lot of time away from home. Mutual irritation erupted at every turn, and their apartment felt like it was shrinking as their problems swelled. David moved out and “the VGs,” as their friends referred to them, were officially over.
But that was not the end of it, and much of the book is about how David and Jason became reconciled and eventually got legally married in Massachusetts. Readers who swoon at a gift of flowers or a recitation of sappy poetry will want to grab a tissue before finishing this book, which will tickle their tender side. Greenwood is chatty, a little gossipy, and not a bit afraid to dish relationship secrets; in fact, reading this book is rather like having a latte with your best friend who just got married and can’t wait to tell you everything. Fortunately, given this degree of intimacy, Greenwood is a born storyteller, and the story he tells is one you’ll be delighted to hear.
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Terri Schlichenmeyer is a freelance writer based in Wisconsin whose book reviews appear regularly in a number of publications.
