Little Big Man


Marco Rubio is long gone as a presidential contender. In the end, the Florida senator’s run may best be remembered for his bizarre exchange with Donald Trump over th
relative size of each man’s penis. It was when Trump started calling Rubio “little Marco” that the latter struck back: “I’ll admit he’s taller than me. He’s like 6-foot-2, which is why I don’t understand why he has hands the size of someone who’s 5-foot-2. Have you seen his hands? And you know what they say about men with small hands.” Trump, of course, couldn’t resist answering in kind and larding it on, so he made a fairly explicit reference to his own endowment and assured his fans, “I guarantee you there’s no problem.” Two footnotes:

1. The whole penis-hand contro brought out some research which indicates that there actually is a correlation between the length of fingers and penises, both of which are governed by prenatal testosterone levels. Which also means that gay guys dishing may have also been on to something all along.

2. Trump’s attempt to emasculate Rubio may have been based on some opposition research that he was sitting on. What’s known is that Rubio regaled Jimmy Fallon with marco-1024x576the story about how he went to a foam party in the ’90s—but there were no straight foam parties, were there?—and ruined his boots. Floating out there is a police report about Rubio’s late-night arrest in the gay cruising area of a Miami park on his 19th birthday. And then there’s this photo of Marco dancing in the “Cobra” contest at South Miami High School (he’s under the “O”). But hey, who didn’t dance shirtless with other hot dudes in the high school talent show?