Pentagon Pranks A spokesperson for the Department of Defense has confirmed a report that Air Force officials wanted to develop a gay conversion chemical weapon in 1994. The proposal, part of a plan from Wright Air Force Base in Dayton, Ohio, was to develop “chemicals that effect [sic]human behavior so that discipline and morale in enemy units is adversely effected [sic]. One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior.” The serious lessons one could draw from this project—the military’s pathological obsession with homosexuality; its fascination with fringe technologies redolent of the occult (“magic potions” of various kinds); its willingness to flirt with violating the Geneva Convention—are all there. Still, it sounds more like a fraternity prank than a serious contribution to psychological warfare. Indeed one can only imagine, had the military succeeded in concocting this stuff, that sooner or later some hotdog would have gotten hold of a canisterful and released it in his barracks. Eventually, it would have found its way into the general public, and practical jokers would have released it in buses and elevators just for the fun of seeing straight men come on to each other, and we could all have sat back and watched society as we know it come apart at the seams. Oh, well.
Don’t Tell Rummy! A clinical study at Minot State (ND) found that women who take slimming or thyroid pills during pregnancy are unusually likely to produce homosexual children. Thyroxine, which is used to treat thyroid deficiency, as well as amphetamine-based diet pills, were found to be strongly linked to homosexuality in female offspring: the mothers of lesbians were up to eight times more likely to have taken such drugs (especially in the first trimester). The study lends credence to the theory that prenatal factors can influence sexual orientation. Meanwhile, we can only assume (in light of the above) that the U.S. military is plotting its next move: converting our enemy into a race of lesbians.God’s Mysterious Waves The Tsunami disaster that befell south Asia in late December did not go unexploited by the most extreme elements of the Fire-and-Brimstone crowd. The notoriously homophobic Westboro Baptist Church of Kansas issued a statement thanking God for punishing all those gay Swedes who were vacationing in Thailand. Saudi Arabia’s top clerics blamed the disaster on the hedonistic Westerners who go to Thai resorts to fornicate and drink alcohol (and it was the day after Christmas!). While the likes of Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson kept quiet this time, unlike after 9/11, they trade in such accounts of divine retribution on a daily basis. That’s what makes it so remarkable that one place to be completely spared on the otherwise ravaged island of Phuket was the favorite gay beach at Patong. Ranked by Planet Out as one of the top ten gay beaches in the world, Patong is where a multicultural gay life can be found swarming around the Connect Guesthouse in the Paradise Complex, which was untouched by the surrounding devastation.
Lying with a Straight Face The movie Kinsey reminded us what zany things young people used to be taught about sex—that pregnancy can result from mutual masturbation, for example—and we could all feel a bit smug about their naïveté. Well, a Congressional study has been released (Dec. 2004) reporting on today’s “abstinence only” programs in U.S. schools, which the federal government has subsidized to the tune of a billion dollars, and what it found is that they’re teaching gross falsehoods about sex worthy of the 1940’s. Some of the faulty claims focus on HIV: that the virus can be transmitted through sweat or tears; that half of all gay teenagers are HIV-positive. Other assertions seem to have taken a page, quite literally, from Kinsey’s day: that abortion can lead to sterility and suicide; that touching a person’s genitals can cause pregnancy. Whether the kids are buying this stuff is another matter. It would be nice to believe that this is just a case of history repeating itself as farce.
Making Marriage Hurt The prospect of same-sex marriage coming to a state near you has produced a number of responses designed to make sure it can’t happen here. One of the more reactionary ideas, harking back to a time when divorce was next to impossible, is the creation of a special class of marriage called the “covenant marriage.” This arrangement is harder to enter into and much harder to dissolve than an ordinary marriage—a departure from the “no fault” concept that allows couples in most states to part amicably. Under the “covenant” concept, which typically allows for divorce only in cases of infidelity or gross cruelty, one partner would have to go after the other with names and dates and incidents—and, let’s face it, it’s gonna get ugly. It is probably for this reason that in states where this option is available, such as Arizona, fewer than one percent of all couples are choosing it. But that hasn’t stopped a number of other states from taking up the matter. It’s like legislating against flag-burning: no one has burned an American flag in this country for years, but it’s somehow comforting to know that if anyone ever did, they would really, really be punished for it.
Second Thoughts The power of the Internet was on display when two national organizations were called on the carpet and forced to reverse earlier decisions:
1. When Human Rights Campaign executive director Cheryl Jacques left her post after only a year, it was under a small cloud—was she fired or did she resign?—with HRC citing “differing management philosophies” and Jacques hinting that she opposed HRC’s plan to retrench on same-sex marriage in the wake of the election. Later, when HRC refused to reveal who was on the search committee for Jacques’s replacement, the gay blogosphere went nuts and the group hastily made the names public.
2. The Net went even nutsier after it was learned that national AIDS Action executive director Marsha Martin had signed on to co-host a gala event at the Bush inaugural, “Salute to a Second Term,” whose invitation bore the words: “You are cordially invited to join in celebrating the Presidential Inauguration and Republican electoral success.” Martin defended the event as a fundraiser for the AIDS Responsibility Project—but then it was learned that this is a group of lobbies that oppose the approval of generic HIV drugs for developing nations. It wasn’t long before Martin pulled out of the event.
