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Published in: November-December 2008 issue.

Straight to the End  A major study has revealed that up to one in four heterosexual men has anal human papillomavirus (HPV) infection. The condition is traditionally associated with women, who undergo the familiar “pap smear” to detect its presence, while the incidence in men was assumed to be much lower. Until recently, there was no effective test for HPV in men, but now there is and, guess what? According to a report in The Journal of Infectious Diseases (6/15/08), samples of men in the Netherlands and Brazil found rates of anal HPV infection to rival women’s vaginal rates. Since men are the “vector” of the infection for women, this finding raises an intriguing question, which research leader Alan Nyitray posed with classic scientific understatement:  “There are a number of questions this study raises. For instance, how was HPV transmitted to the perianal region and anal canal of these men.” How indeed? The search for a vector is on.

Manhunt Has a Bad Date  A brief but intense kafuffle erupted last August over a campaign contribution received by Senator McCain from one of his supporters, culminating in the return of the $2,300 gift. It seems the donor, Jonathan Crutchley, is the co-owner of Manhunt.net, the ultra-popular on-line site for men interested in meeting other men for casual relations and more. Once word of Crutchley’s gift got out, the gay blogosphere lit up in angry red at the idea that America’s most popular gay website was owned by Republicans. That allegation was rejected by Manhunt’s other owner, Larry Basile, a lifelong Democrat who disavowed any connection to the GOP. He also announced Crutchley’s resignation as company chair. The fact that Crutchley felt he had to take this step underscores a) the extent to which partisan politics has infused all areas of life, such that Manhunt actually did lose customers after this revelation, and b) just how radioactive the GOP has become for gay voters. That McCain took the unusual step of returning the donation speaks volumes about the party’s attitude toward GLBT voters—or at least the men, most of whom (it would appear) are Manhunt customers. Then, too, returning the gift undoubtedly did Manhunt a favor, which was feeling a bit tainted itself by this political association.

SensaSlim or InstaBone?  A Norwegian man is suing the Swiss manufacturer of a slimming product after he experienced “acute sexual arousal” for over thirty days while participating in a clinical trial. SensaSlim is an oral spray that desensitizes the taste buds and thus, if all goes well, the desire to overeat. The plaintiff, who credits SensaSlim with helping him to lose weight, admits to having sprayed the product on his genitals on the theory that it would desensitize his penis and enable him to prolong sexual relations with his (female) partner. In the million-dollar lawsuit, the SensaSlim folks are maintaining that the plaintiff willfully misused their product and brought the priapism upon himself; used as directed, the product is safe. So the question must be raised: are these guys brain dead or what?! Do they have any idea what they’re sitting on—a product that, all you have to do is spray a little on your junk, and it’s instant hard-on for who knows how long? (Who cares?) It’s not just that such a spray could put Viagra out of business; it could revolutionize sex as we know it. What Polaroid did for photography and McDonald’s did for food, SensaSlim could do for sex. Erica Jong talked about the “zipless fuck”; now you won’t even need to be attracted to the guy or gal you meet on a plane. It could give rise to a whole new dating scene, new types of social gatherings, not to mention a whole new genre of practical jokes.

 The Banality of Justice  As if we needed confirmation of just how mainstream we’ve become, how’s this for sensory overload? Hallmark will be offering a line of greeting cards for the same-sex greeting cardcouple in your life on the occasion of their marriage or civil union. The announcement was met with predictable ire emanating from the usual quarters (the American Family Association, et al.), which took it as another sign of Armageddon. A few Hallmark stores noisily declared that they would embargo the cards, to which headquarters answered that this was fine; individual outlets will, as always, be free to stock whatever lines they choose. The cards will start popping up, possibly at a store near you, some time in 2009.

 Lovers Rent  The Catholic Church has announced that it will exhume and rebury the corpse of England’s greatest theologian of the 19th century, Cardinal John Henry Newman, who died in 1890. Now moving a corpse is a highly unusual and seemingly pointless exercise that can only have symbolic significance—and in this case the message is clear. Newman lived with another man for thirty years and was, in accord with his express wishes, buried with the body of Ambrose St. John. But Newman is slated to be beatified by the Vatican next year, the final step toward canonization (pending an “intercession of the spirit”). Gay activists in the UK have decried the glaring homophobia implied by this move. Still, it also implies that the Vatican is at last acknowledging that Newman was gay, something this change of address will not alter.

The Perks of Marriage  Same-sex marriage advocates often remind us that there are hundreds of benefits to marriage that same-sex couples are denied, each a privilege that could have critical importance to some GLBT couple somewhere. So when Governor David Paterson of New York declared that out-of-state marriages would be honored for same-sex residents, he ordered that all the benefits accruing to married couples be enumerated. Among the 1,324 items that his staff came up with were things like a spouse’s right to veteran’s benefits, the transferability of a rental car lease, and this: “same-sex married couples would be granted the right to take deer or bear from their spouse’s land and shuck shellfish if their spouse has a permit.” To be sure, the latter may not be a big factor for most New York partners contemplating marriage, but somewhere there’s bound to be a couple for whom this could make a difference: Yes, honey, once we’re married you’ll never again be arrested for going to the lake house and loading bear kill onto the pickup—so what d’ya say?

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