The Confirmed Bachelor It was major news in the cultural Cybersphere when the star of this season’s reality show The Bachelor (ABC) came out as gay. And while Colton Underwood waited until after the final episode to break this news, he’d been quite forthcoming from the start about the fact that he was a virgin. He came to be known affectionately as the “Virgin Bachelor” and was praised for his courage in telling the world something that’s hard for a grown man to admit. On the other hand, once he did come out as gay, this revelation would seem to deflate any kudos he earned for the “virgin” admission. A gay guy who’s never had sex with a woman? Pffft. (Be it noted that gay men were once referred to euphemistically as “confirmed bachelors.”) Still, Colton was popular, so now there’s talk of bringing him back to star in an explicitly gay season of The Bachelor. (He can’t be a virgin on this front!) Alternatively, if he ever decides to launch a new career, he’s got a great porn name with which to do it.
The Lap Dance We can’t leave without mentioning the 22-year-old phenomenon that is Lil Nas X, a gay rapper and songwriter who’s suddenly ubiquitous. He has a new song out called “Montero (Call Me By Your
Name),” a gay cri de coeur
that’s reviewed in this issue. The YouTube video for “Montero” provides a glimpse into just how far our culture has come in its sex and gender mores. The surreal sequence takes us through Genesis 1, from the creation of Adam and then Eve through the serpent’s temptation of Eve and then Adam, followed by the Fall—only this time Adam ends up in a fiery hell giving the Devil a sultry lap dance that both parties seem to enjoy. It didn’t take long for religionists to condemn the video as blasphemous—a charge that’s kind of understandable from their standpoint—at which point Saturday Night Live
swung into action. So: the cold open finds us on the set of the (made up) Britney Spears Show, which has landed that ultimate “get” of a guest—God! He’s an amiable sort, his garb and beard a study in white, but soon enough it’s time for the next guest: none other than Lil Nas X (played by Chris Redd). Before long we realize that it’s all a setup to allow Lil Nas X to give God a lap dance! The action is not quite as bumpy and grindy as on the video, but no one doubts that an interracial gay lap dance with God did nothing to appease the fundamentalists.