The Perils of Gender-Neutral Restrooms
To the Editor:
Thank you for publishing Sheila L. Cavanagh’s thoughtful article [July-August 2011 issue] about public toilets and the enforcement of gender dualism. I am a lesbian who has sometimes, because of gender stereotyping, been mistaken for a man, including when using public bathrooms.
I was, however, disappointed that the article did not address—other than with one rather flippant reference to “sexual predators and rapists desperate to get access to the ladies room”—the fact that large numbers of (mostly or nominally heterosexual) men and boys throughout the world commit a wide range of violent, sexually violent, and invasive acts against girls and women. To varying degrees, and to varying degrees of denial, all girls and women live with this reality. I honestly think this helps explain the reluctance of many to share public bathrooms—where they are relatively vulnerable and easily trapped—with males. (Obviously, I’m talking here about multi-stall facilities, not the single-room cubicles that can and should be available to any individual.)
As well as overt violence, there’s the harassment that probably almost all women and girls across the globe experience from (presumably heterosexual) males in public spaces. For some, “women-only” public transportation (e.g., in India and Guatemala City) and, yes, restrooms, are safe havens. Of course, the real solution is for males to stop raping and assaulting females, and also to give up groping, pinching, squeezing, brushing up against, staring, sexually commenting, whistling at, cat-calling, turning abusive when rejected, and generally intruding and not taking “no” for an answer. I have personally experienced all of these behaviors in public spaces, and while I wait for them to end, I don’t want to invite them into the bathroom!
Discussion of unisex bathrooms really should acknowledge that, while many women might be attached to gender roles and stereotypes, they also have good reason to be wary of multi-stall unisex restrooms. I support the provision of gender-neutral bathrooms in addition to female-only (and, if desired, male-only) facilities, so that all people’s needs can be met. Let’s just be careful not to dismiss the need of girls and women to be safe from the male violence and harassment that are, unfortunately, normal (and not, as the article implies, aberrant) in this society.
Alix Greenwood, Oakland, CA
Addendum to Joe Gage Piece
To the Editor:
Regarding my “art memo” on Joe Gage [in the July-August issue], in retrospect I feel I did not do full justice to his new videos—those made since his return to filmmaking in 2000—by comparing them to his early work. The three films made from 1976 to 1982—Kansas City Trucking Co., El Paso Wrecking Corp., and L.A. Tool & Die—were certainly revolutionary, creating a new, culture-critical genre of gay “art porn.” However, these were independent films intended for exhibition in a scattering of small and now defunct gay movie houses. Like all young independent filmmakers, Gage had to scrape up funds to produce and distribute them.
Today, Gage keeps himself going by making porn for a more sophisticated niche within an existing market with limited interest in plot, dialog, or subtlety. (It too is a market that is dying, given the plethora of free porn sites on the Internet.) In some of his best films (for example, Chainsaw and Slow Heat in a Texas Town), Gage strives to overcome these sharp constraints, exploring new, intriguing, and erotically explosive ways to bring out the contradictions between mainstream society’s normative sexual roles and its usually suppressed realities.
Conrad Brewster, Kansas City, MO
When It Doesn’t Get Better
To the Editor:
My views on the “It Gets Better” campaign were not fully reflected in the opinion piece under my byline in the September-October issue of the GLR, “How ‘It Gets Better’ Is Making It Better,” and I would like to elaborate upon these views.
The difficulty with a “one size fits all” approach such as that of Dan Savage’s YouTube video project is that it doesn’t work for everyone. Students subjected to prolonged bullying who develop symptoms of depression need mental health treatment. Without it, they will not get better. Nor it is helpful to tell adolescents with suicidal depression to “tough it out,” as Savage has at one point. The fact that many GLBT people have survived bullying and enjoy satisfying lives does not make their experience universally applicable.
The only true solution to the problem of bullying and the resulting pathology is to make schools safe. As long as bullying persists, there will be too many—albeit not all—for whom it does not get better. Their lives are no less precious than those who would find affirmation in the success stories of GLBT adults. The best anti-suicide program serving the gay community is The Trevor Project. Instead of mass market messaging, they offer individualized and psychologically informed counseling to teens in acute distress who call into their hotline. That’s the most effective stopgap we have until we can make our schools safe for children who are different.
Don Gorton, Boston
Chairperson, The Anti-Violence
Project of Massachusetts
Offering an Index to Lynes Volume
To the Editor:
Regarding your review of George Platt Lynes: The Male Nudes in the July-August 2011 issue, it is indeed a welcome addition to our library of Lynes’ photographs. However, the book lacks an index, so the many male models that he employed, some famous and some unknown, may be hard for the reader to find.
To rectify this, I have compiled an index with all the names of the male models in this book, and would be willing to share this index with others. If anyone is interested, just send me an e-mail and I’ll send a copy to you. My address is: gkhuber@dca.net.
George K. Huber, Swarthmore, PA
