Know Your Lubes


Gun-Oil-H2OThe homology between guns and penises has been exploited in language and marketing: both are said to “shoot”; both are gauged by their size; and both have to be oiled from time to time. So perhaps it’s not surprising that there’s a gay-oriented lube called Gun Oil H20, and, less surprising still, that it’s carried by Walmart. It’s meant to be stocked in the pharmacy, but every so often it’s routed to the gun counter by mistake. One customer in Alabama bought the product and made a video that went viral on YouTube. At first he liked what he saw on the label: “Long-lasting lubrication with easy cleanup. Glycerin and paraben free. Wetter, lighter feel than silicone.” But then he got to the part about “ginseng and guarana to promote blood flow,” and he knew something was amiss. Actually, the “H20” in the name should have been a tipoff that this is a water-based product containing no oil. So, chances are it would slowly rust your gun rather than lubricate it. Which is an outcome that many legitimate users of Gun Oil H20 might be okay with.