husband_not_gayTHE LATEST éclat in the annals of pop cultural fireworks has come and gone: a TLC reality show called My Husband’s Not Gay that focused on four Mormon men who were married to women despite having a history of attraction to other men. Social media hyped the special as some kind of cultural breakthrough, while gay activists braced themselves for cheesy “ex-gay” propaganda with four happy husbands proving it can be done.

And maybe that’s what the producers of the show had in mind. If so, the men just weren’t cooperating. Sure, they were married and technically faithful to their wives, but the rest of the time they liked nothing better than to check out other guys and comment on their hotness to wives and friends. What they weren’t into was sports, but some of them adored Broadway musicals. Wayne Besen of Truth Wins Out called it “the gayest show on earth.” In a sense, of course, these men were doing what gay Mormons (and not just Mormons!) have been doing forever: submitting to the imperative of marriage and family while secretly longing for something else altogether. Only now it’s not secretly, for today we have reality TV.

And what have we learned from this bit of subcultural voyeurism? Basically, that closeted gay men can cruise and dish just as well as those who are living gay lives.



Articles in GLReview

Discussion2 Comments

  1. Raymond Banacki

    “My Husband’s Not Gay” was such a bad idea for a TV reality show. And this show was an instant ratings failure, too. Does anybody remember “Boy Meets Boy”? Let’s bring that one back. But without the gimmick – that some of the dateables were actually straight.

  2. I finally watched the show on my DVR. I was surprised at how open these guys were about their gayness. I thought it was refreshing to see someone try to live such a tightly balanced life.

    As to what they got out of it? When the one single guy said he wanted a wife and kids, I had to wonder why he doesn’t settle for a husband and kids. SSM is legal in Utah, and as of next year, two men will be able to have a baby without using an egg (it will be done using their stem cells). So they would both be the biological parent. He didn’t mention living within religious dictates, so I assume a husband and mutual children might satisfy him.

    I did notice that the three married guys married women who were not in their league. I can see why the women settled, as they could not land a straight guy as attractive as their gay husband. I do feel for them, always living on edge and wondering what the husband is really doing when he is off with the boys.

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