You Mean, We’re Better at It?



“How to Make Your Marriage Gayer” boomed a New York Times headline on the front of the “Sunday Review” (Feb. 16, 2020), pointing to an article that took up the entire centerfold. The gist of it was that same-sex married couples report greater satisfaction and stability than opposite-sex couples. Gay couples tend to settle arguments more amicably and share domestic chores more equally, which is to say that one partner—the woman in a straight marriage—doesn’t get saddled with most of the work. This trend is especially pronounced when it comes to child rearing, as both partners in a gay couple tend to spend more time with their kids than straight mothers and especially straight fathers. Other studies have shown that gay couples’ children tend to do better academically and psychologically, which is attributed to the amount of parental attention they receive. The Times piece proposed an intriguing explanation for this advantage. Creating a child for same-sex couples is usually quite a project that involves surrogacy or adoption and typically lots of paperwork and expense; couples willing to go through all this are highly motivated and usually well prepared to raise kids. So, since it was billed as a “how to” piece for improving your marriage, the lesson here seems to be: make procreation more difficult and more expensive!